Yesterday I was sad.
And it's okay.
But it didn't start out okay at first when I had a headache and my stomach felt crappy. I wondered what was wrong. And then the tears started to come in unexpected waves. And that didn't feel so great because I tried to turn them off and shove them down.
And then it hit me.
I was thinking about seeing my mom in a few weeks. And she's no longer at home. She moved into a care facility (due to her memory loss) since I saw her last and even though I know she's in a good place and I'm so happy my dad has the support he needs, the thought of seeing her there makes me really sad.
And while it's understandable it's also good for me to realize that what was making my body feel so crappy was actually me. By trying to turn off how I felt instead of looking at what was making me sad in the first place made me feel even worse.
So...I reminded myself that I'm feeling sad because of what I'm thinking about seeing my mom in her new environment. Not that she's there.
And it's okay.
But it didn't start out okay at first when I had a headache and my stomach felt crappy. I wondered what was wrong. And then the tears started to come in unexpected waves. And that didn't feel so great because I tried to turn them off and shove them down.
And then it hit me.
I was thinking about seeing my mom in a few weeks. And she's no longer at home. She moved into a care facility (due to her memory loss) since I saw her last and even though I know she's in a good place and I'm so happy my dad has the support he needs, the thought of seeing her there makes me really sad.
And while it's understandable it's also good for me to realize that what was making my body feel so crappy was actually me. By trying to turn off how I felt instead of looking at what was making me sad in the first place made me feel even worse.
So...I reminded myself that I'm feeling sad because of what I'm thinking about seeing my mom in her new environment. Not that she's there.
And then I DECIDED to choose to feel sad at that moment.
photo via - (As a passionate rain lover this quote seemed perfect)
That's right. I chose to be sad. Because it's what I wanted to feel. And you know what? The crying actually started to feel good.
And I started to let go of trying to feel something else.
I share this with my clients a lot when we work together. And I remind them that being a coach or wanting to be more of a positive person or an optimist doesn't mean we're never sad or angry or bothered.
It just means that we understand that how we feel is a choice.
And to KNOW THAT WE HAVE A CHOICE is everything.
And so do you.
And so do you.
Much Love,
gia
